Unwritten Her

Because Every Woman Deserves to Choose Her Path

Am I doing this right?

The Quiet Weight of Second-Guessing’ (ChatGPT suggested Tagline)

I’ve had (and still do) have many moments when it hits me: Am I doing the right thing?

Parenting doesn’t come with a tidy roadmap. When life doesn’t go as planned, when you’re navigating separation, divorce or just the everyday mess of motherhood, we’re our own worst critics.

There are so many questions we ask ourselves (even if we don’t talk about it) and this is completely natural. I’ve always wished I was a ‘Type A’ personality but in fact, I’m an aspiring Type C (sometimes a D). I’m not sure if this means I’m harder on myself or that we’re all equally hard on ourselves but I fall short because I’m not Type-A’ing. I digress.

I’m four years on from separating from my ex-husband and every single conviction I have, I question. Even now.

  • What school should the kids go to?
  • Are they really okay?
  • Should I have stayed for the kids?
  • Did I make the right choice walking away?

Everyone will have different questions, but you’re not alone (I know that sounds cheesy). And the fact that you’re even asking them means one thing: you care. Deeply.

🧭 There Is No Perfect Path – Only Honest Ones

We chase the “right” decision like it’s a finish line. But real life is messy and layered. Sometimes you can make the right decisions but it still doesn’t work out. And vice versa. For me, I’m hanging on to:

  • The best school is just the one that works for now.
  • Our children’s happiness is a wave, not a constant.
  • Our healing will help them heal in the long-term.

When I realised my kids don’t need perfect, and just need me, I connected with them better. My house is chaos and despite trying desperately hard to keep it tidy, I’d rather spend the time playing ping-pong on the dining table (Moses’s favourite activity at the moment) knowing this is what he appreciates more.

And I’m sure you’ve heard it but it’s always good to reinforce: they only need you to be ‘Good Enough’. I really wanted to put a cool quote here but when I Googled it I couldn’t find anything that I loved so for now I’ll leave it blank. Suggestions welcome.

‘Insert Inspiring Quote Here’.

Try This: Look at the Evidence – Here is Chat GPT’s suggestion (because when in doubt, refer to AI for help).

When you’re spiraling in doubt, do a “reality check”:

  • Did they smile this week?
  • Do they still seek you for comfort?
  • Are you still standing—after all of this?

That’s not failure. That’s strength.

Give Yourself the Grace You Give Your Kids – This is my contribution.

You forgive your children when they mess up. You encourage them when they feel unsure.
Try extending that same grace to yourself.

Because second-guessing is not a weakness.
It’s a sign you’re still trying, being self-aware and reflecting. It’s a sign that you’re a wonderful mum. And so am I. And maybe one day we’ll all believe it.

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